Bella Fallen Angel
by Jane Irene Masen Cullen
Summary: Bella isn’t really human. She’s a fallen angel. She did something bad in death and as punishment is here for 20 years of her death, even though she can’t age. What will the Cullens think when they find her 16 yrs after she left them? Full summery inside.
1. Leaving

**Disclaimer: me - Stephanie Meyer does not own twilight.  
Edward - Jane ...  
me - She doesn't!  
Edward - Jane she does.  
me - Fine! but she doesn't own us.  
Edward - Good girl.  
me - Shut up.  
**

BPOV

I walked into my house with Edward. I needed to tell him goodbye. I _hate_ this! I don't want to leave my love. I drew a deep breath and he turned to me curious. The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them,

"Let's go for a walk" He nodded slowly, as if he was just going to suggest that. It hadn't really surprised me that he was distancing himself after what had happened on my birthday. Of coarse, I'm still seventeen and always will be. It sucks being dead. I knew what Edward would do just a few days from now, maybe he'd even planned to do it today. But he wouldn't get to. I had to tell him that I was leaving first.

I stopped a little into the woods. He seemed slightly perplexed now. He raised one of his perfect eyebrows.

"We need to talk" I stated clearly. He nodded,

"We do. What do you want to say?" I drew breath, my face was already impassive; he wouldn't be able to tell that I was lying.

"Charlie's been offered a job. We're leaving." He stiffened, shocked. Then he smiled.

"Where has he been offer this job?"

"California, LA" His smile dropped. He took a step forward and placed his cool hands on my forearms.

"Bella, Los Angeles is sunny. I can't go there." I nodded slowly,

"That brings me to what I wanted to say. What I had for you was just a crush. You were right," I shrugged, loathing myself for what was coming from my mouth. My face still showed none of my self-loathing. "I got over it." His face was devastating. He looked as if I'd just pulled out his heart. I guess I had just ripped it from his chest in a sense, since I knew that he loved me, and that I held his heart. To leave meant I was pulling everything he had away from him. But I couldn't stay, it was getting too dangerous for me.

"Bella," he whispered. I shook my head.

"We're leaving tomorrow. Goodbye, Edward" I allowed myself one small comfort and rested my had against his cheek for a small moment before turning and heading back up to my Guardian's house. I'd lied back there. We weren't leaving tomorrow and we weren't going to LA. We were leaving as soon as I'd told him. I got in and Charlie was already waiting for me.

"I hear him. He's sobbing. Can you really do this? What if they find us?" My heart broke at the words he spoke. I knew I couldn't seal away my heart and neither could Edward. The only comfort was that in 18 years I'd no longer be on this earth. I could ask Death to make me forget him. But I knew that, for him, there would be no rest from the agony that would plague him. The agony came from the thought that I didn't love him. And that was the agony that would haunt _me_, and never allow me peaceful rest.

EPOV

I had to do this. I had to leave for her own safety. As I was about to ask her if she would like to go for a walk (always a gentleman), she interrupted me asking, no, telling, me to go for a walk with her. I nodded, I'd leave then. But a had I feeling that there was something bad she needed to tell me. And that I'd be the one who ended up with their heart broken into tiny pieces.

I heard her stop when we'd just entered the forest. We could still see the house. Some walk, but I guess I wouldn't have gone much further considering what I had to do if I wanted her to live. **(A/N: Ironic, no?) **I raised an eyebrow questioningly. _No, don't get closer to her now. Not when you've spent a week distancing yourself. _But now that I'd thought of it, Bella had been distant for weeks now and that hadn't changed. I thought had just been about her birthday.

"We need to talk" the way she said it gave my hair stand on end. Her face was impassive, not even her eyes showed any emotion. At the moment, they were depthless, I couldn't read them. I nodded,

"We do" I agreed, "What do you want to say?" I asked. She drew a deep breath as if she was scared of saying what she had to.

"Charlie's been offered a job. We're leaving" _What! She's leaving me! How can she! I love her!_ My heart was screaming these thoughts at me but I focused on pushing them back, allowing my former determination to shine a light on my thoughts. _Well, at least this makes it easier for me. But I need to know where she is, so that I know she's safe._ I smiled, at the thought that I'd still know where to find her if someone threatened her.

"Where has he been offered this job?"

"California, LA" Once again I was split in half. My heart was screaming that I wouldn't be able to follow her, watch her, kiss her. Or even be anywhere near her. I t was like she knew exactly how to change my mind. These fears were greater than the common sense that tried to make itself heard. That this was better because it would be harder for vampires to get to her with so much sun. But I was a vampire. I wouldn't be able to get to her. My smiled dropped as did my determination and I let my love overwhelm myself again. Letting it show through my eyes and through my actions as I gently grabbed her forearms. I still couldn't read her! Her face was still impassive and her eyes still depthless and unreadable! Why?

"Bella, Los Angeles is sunny. I can't go there." My voice thick with desperation, almost begging her to think a way around it. But right now it seemed like she didn't love me. But I knew that couldn't be true. No, it couldn't be. She nodded. She knew that and she was still going. She dropped her head and I struggled against the urge to lift it back up again. She did it for me though. She drew another deep breath and looked me straight in the eye.

"That brings me to what I wanted to say." There was more? How could there be _more_? Unless… No. "What I had for you was just a crush. You were right." _I was right how? _I almost screamed at her as she shrugged her shoulders. "I got over it." And that was when she ripped my long dead heart out. Ripped it out of my chest, leaving a gaping hole in its place. She didn't love me? How could she not? No, this couldn't happen. I hated myself for thinking about leaving her earlier. The pain was like a wave sweeping me up and depositing me into the fiery pits of my very own personal hell. Where all the fire was concentrated on me. This was so much more worse than even my transformation. Fire, but not swift and overwhelming but so slow and burning that could still keep my head above water with the knowledge that I was drowning.

"Bella" I whispered. She shook her head.

"We're leaving tomorrow. Goodbye Edward" Then almost as if to torture me some more, she let her warm hand rest upon my cheek for a moment before walking off down the path. I was in pieces. She didn't _love _me, she'd never even fully loved me the way she'd promised. I dropped to the ground and started to sob tearlessly. I could barely even do that. I was empty with out her.

My ears registered the sound of a car pull out of Bella's driveway. Something smoother than the police cruiser and quieter than Bella's truck. It drove up the street and followed it to the highway that ran through Forks. After a couple of miles I couldn't hear it anymore. Hours later I stopped crying, it hurt to much to even sob anymore. Carlisle and Alice came to find me. I couldn't even respond. I read that Alice had already told the entire family. Jasper had been shocked. Apparently, he'd felt pure love radiating off Bella when he was near us. Her love that came from a simple human _crush_. In the end Carlisle had to pick me up and carry me to our new home. He put me on a couch that was almost identical to the one in Forks. The slow burning pain was still there, as it would be for all of eternity. Or for all of Bella's life, I should say. I would always be here if she ever decided she wanted me again. I would always be here to love her. Till the day she died.

**A/N: I know that I suck at Bella's point of view but our entire family doesn't understand her or what's going through her mind so how should I? I'm so much better at my brother's, because, well, duh, he's my twin. We understand each other better than Alice and Jasper understand the other. I know goes through his head because it's basically the same as me. Just, I'm a bit more competitive and in-your-face; also less self-conflict and we're-all-damned-because-we-are-vampires. I know you all think that is shit, right? Well, I agree. Only, I believe that James, Sweet old Vicky and Laurent, Jane (not me, Volturi), Alec, Demetri, Felix, Caius and Marcus deserve eternal hell. The rest don't know any better or stuff like that. Am I forgetting someone? Yes, let's all hail king ARO as he goes to hell! (Try let's not hail him. **_**King**_**?****Give me a break!) Oh, and ya, most of this story will be in either Eward's pov or mine. Depending if I decide to put myself in the story. I know! I'll do a poll. Everybody go to my poll or I won't be able to continue this story!!**


	2. Finding

EPOV

It's been sixteen years. Bella would be 34 now. Bella, Bella, my beautiful Bella. How could you not love me? Not truly love me? Of course you couldn't truly love a monster like me.

No, that's probably why she left in the first place. She's just too kind to tell me that she finally realized it. She was always too kind, too trusting. She'll be in love with someone else now, happily in love. And either engaged or married. She was too beautiful. Pain ripped through my chest burning the edges of the hole she left when she tore out the heart which she would always hold.

_Edward!_

No, I will not go and answer her.

"Edward Cullen! Answer your sister right now!" Esme yelled up the stairs followed by Alice again.

"Yes, please do, brother dear!" I groaned and rolled myself off my black couch and trudged downstairs to meet Alice. She was waiting for me at the foot of the stairwell. Smiling. I groaned mentally, she'd probably come up with another useless way to make me forget Bella, my love. That was never going to happen.

"Follow me! And no, I'm not going to try and make you forget her." She smiled wider, slightly maniacally and took off, me following. Unfortunately. "I've got something better." I winced and then scowled.

"What? Bella herself? Look I'm going back home, Alice. I really don't need this." Alice growled and grabbed my wristed as I turned to walk back to our home. Just out of Cabot. Yeah, we live in Vermont now.

"Yes, you do, actually. Edward, have you seen yourself _at all_ in the last 16 years? No, don't answer that. My point is, you can't keep moping over Bella if you know for a _fact_, that she doesn't love you." I was slightly astonished. Alice had been Bella's best friend now she was talking as if she didn't and had never liked her at all. She caught my expression and sighed. "Edward, you loved her and she just ditched you when she got bored. You're my brother and the fact that she did that makes her the enemy in my book. But Edward if she doesn't and didn't love you as much as she claimed she did then she's not your mate and never was." I broke. Bella was Alice's enemy now? I gave her a choice and she chose. I was never going to make her my _mate_. My wife, maybe.

"It doesn't _matter_ Alice. I _loved_ her, more than anything. She was my life, can't you _see_ that? If she didn't love me the way I did, that's _fine_! But that doesn't stop the way _I_ feel about her!" Alice made a face. The face that said _God, he's got it bad_. Her thoughts back it up. I sighed,

"Let me put it this way. If Jasper ever left _you_, would _you_ get over it? No, you wouldn't, because you _love_ him. He's _your_ life." Alice made face again. But this one said, _Ugh, he's right_. I nodded in satisfaction. I turned to go back to my room, jerking my wrist out of Alice's firm grip. She hissed and grabbed me again.

"What?" I growled through my teeth.

"I've got your point but there really _is_ something, well, _someone_ you gotta see." I frowned at that. Someone? We didn't know anyone here and the Denali clan never left Alaska unless for some big event we were involved in.

"Come with me" Alice said exasperated and sprinted off through the trees, me hot on her trail. To my surprise she led me straight to the middle of Cabot. To a small non-descript house. The only thing that made it different from the other house on the street was a small turret on the back of the house, it was made of grey stone and that there were more trees in the front yard, hiding all the windows from the street. I turned to Alice and she motioned for me to follow her again. She led me up to the window on the small turret room, which, coincidentally was facing the back yard which had more trees than the front.

"Go in" was all she said. I looked at her curiously before opening the window wide and sneaking in. The room inside was brown and gold. **(A/N: Think eye colour) **The bed was simple, brown sheets and duvet with dull gold pillows. A small dark wooden chest with a gold lock was pushed against the end of the bed and the door a dark mahogany brown. Next to the door was a wooden bookshelf stuffed with all kinds of books, most of them old. There was a light brown 2-seater couch under the window I'd just crawled through and pushed up against the wall opposite the bed was a small brown desk. On it was a slim black laptop, a contrast to the rest of the room. Next to the desk was a chest of drawers, dark brown with shining gold handles. The bed didn't look like it had been slept in yet or the couch sat on, the room was impeccably tidy, but the room of a teenager nonetheless. But I didn't notice all that instantly. What I noticed was the smell. The sweet, delicious, enticing smell of freesia and a hint of strawberry, it was Bella's scent. Bella was here. Bella was in Virginia. Bella was in Arlington, Virginia. I pushed the thoughts out of my head and examined the room. The single bed meant that she wasn't married yet, which made relief flood my body and hope flood my heart. The scent was definitely Bella's but the room wasn't anything like Bella. It was like she'd mixed 2 styles of décor together and gotten an amazing result. And then there was the fact that the room belonged to a teenager. Bella wasn't a teenager anymore, she was 34. I noticed that Alice had crept in behind me and was sitting on the couch.

"How did you know, Alice." She smiled wryly in response and replied,

"I heard that there was a going to be a new girl in town. She arrived this morning, which explains the bed if you were wondering and her name was Bella Swan. Since I'm the only one who listens to gossip I'm the only person in our family who knows. Not my fault if you aren't listening to peoples' thoughts anymore like you _should_. I waited at the airport this morning to check if it really was her, and she _and_ Charlie are here. Charlie's still a police officer, he's enrolled in the squad here. The thing is Edward, she hasn't aged a bit. She's still seventeen, like she was when we first saw her. Charlie's still the same age as well. Neither of them have aged _at all_. Charlie's still 40 and Bella's enrolled at the school here as a junior, seventeen. I checked all the schools in LA as well and she never attended any of them. I think she lied to you about where she was going so you wouldn't find her."

Bella was still seventeen. But that was basically impossible, we'd all been there for her 18th birthday. She was eighteen and her scent hadn't changed, so she was till human.

"How … How can she still be seventeen? It's just not possible." Alice shrugged,

"That's partly why I brought you here. I haven't touched anything in her room, it's not my place to. But it is yours. Go ahead and see if you can work it out." I shook my head at her and went straight to her bookshelf. I found Withering Heights in it, some things never change apparently. Then I went to her laptop and opened the lid, turning it on before opening her desk drawer.

_BANG._ The front door slammed closed and I jumped back from the desk and shot a look at Alice she looked surprised too. Bella was coming up the stairs to the second floor now.

"She wasn't supposed to be home for another half an hour. I thought we'd be long gone." She jumped up and climbed out the window motioning for me to follow. I did so and hovered below her window. Alice sighed and muttered,

"Stalker" and dropped down onto the lawn, disappearing through the trees. She was right, it was stalker-ish. But I wanted to know, to see with my own eyes that she hadn't changed even though I knew Alice wasn't lying. I heard the door open and close behind her, only then did I realize that I'd left the window and drawer open and the laptop on. I heard her stop and her breathing hitch before her footsteps started again, rushing for the desk murmuring,

"No, no, no, no" I risked a peek through the window and there she was. Still exactly as he'd last seen her and still as beautiful as she'd always been. Her heart beating softly at a steadily fast rhythm. She was looking in the open drawer and she quickly pulled out a framed photograph as she sighed in relief. She pulled it to chest hugging it tightly. What was in that frame? She put it down on the desk, mercifully facing the window. If my heart was still beating it would have stopped. The picture in the frame was of me and Bella at prom, smiling and happy. It was from a time when she (and I) thought she loved me.

I heard the desk chair move and I pulled my gaze back to Bella just in time to see her sit down and start using the computer. From this angle I could only just see what was on the screen. She was getting up a word document. From the folder she was using I could see she'd written a lot of what it was. I couldn't tell what she'd written because all the documents were titled by dates. At the top the first entry had apparently been 14 years ago. She brought up a new document and turned the computer slightly so that it turned away from the window and started typing. She stopped as if she'd finished even though she hadn't been writing long and she slumped back against the chair looking drained. Suddenly she looked up at the window and I had to duck down. I heard her move the chair and start toward the window. Cursing under my breath I dropped down to the ground and darted behind one of the trees before she could see me properly. I sighed before racing home to think.

BPOV **(I decided that I kinda need her pov in this story because I can't just do my brother's because well, he's bias)**

Vermont. Can be rainy, can be snowy. But it's always cloudy. This time I'd told Charlie that I wanted to go somewhere with a history. He suggested a few places but I liked Cabot the best. I always live in mostly rainy places now because they remind me of Edward, all the Cullens. I know that Alice will hate me. Rosalie will probably hate me more but be happy I'm gone and Edward, I'm not sure. He could have cried and got over it, though I don't think so, I know the depth of a vampire's love. It's infinite. He's most likely pretending he's fine, like me, a bit. I could have saved us all some pain and just told him. That I _did_ love him but I was dead and the only way I could stay was to become _undead_. Thing is, no, was that I didn't _want_ to live on earth for the rest of eternity. When you die, you go to a land almost exactly the same as earth but more beautiful and in harmony. There's no hell or heaven (though the afterworld _is_ called Heaven), no gods or goddesses. The only thing that keeps Heaven in harmony is the Queen. You do something bad or break the rules and she decides how many years you spend on earth. Sounds like a gift doesn't it? It's not because earth is so much a worse place to be. The thing is, sometimes you don't come back from your period of exile because you become undead.

The reason I'm on earth is because I hurt someone. Just because Heaven is more peaceful than earth doesn't mean you can't lose your temper. A boy, my best friend, Aidian, really nice, was pressuring me to do something I didn't want to. And I just lost my temper and lashed out. I was taken before the Queen because I'd broken his arm and cracked his chin open, she declared that because since I'd lost my temper when he was pressuring me, I'd spend 20 years on earth. Others have been a lot longer, and because Aidian had pressured me he'd had to spend 5 years on earth when he was healed. All of us in exile are callen Fallen Angels, going with the Christian faith because it's the dominant religion and because the world is called Heaven. He found me 2 years ago to apologise and had stuck with us since he goes back when I do, 2 years from now. For sixteen years now I've been miserable without my love and then I have to leave without telling him that he is my love. For some reason now, I don't _want_ to return to Heaven. I just want to find Edward and tell him I love him, even if he rejects me.

I sighed and got out of my truck. I'd come back from Aidian's place sooner than I'd meant to because I, well, I just wanted to go back to my sanctuary. Aka, my room. I'd put all my photos of me and Edward into my desk drawer before heading out, just in case … I don't know. Just so I knew they were safe I guess. The most precious picture I had was our prom picture, if I lost that I don't know what I do. I slammed the front door of our house, since I'd died before I turned 18 I needed a … supervisor for my exile period. Charlie was that supervisor, he acted as parent for me but he wasn't really my dad. I entered my room gently, and froze. The drawer I'd put my pictures in for safe-keeping was open, the window was open and my laptop was on but on just starting up, thank god.

"No, no, no, no" I muttered rushing for the drawer. I rushed through the other meaningless photos before I found the one I wanted. I sighed, feeling relief wash through me, overwhelming me. It was still here, still safe, still untouched. I clutched it to my chest before placing it gently on my desk. I sat down and opened my letter folder on my laptop. Charlie had finally taken pity on my old computer and bought me a new one 14 years ago, that's when I started writing my letters. All my letters are to Edward, I've written so many that I give up trying to count them when I get to 200. I shifted the computer so that I could see it better and started typing.

My love,

I'm sorry that I lied. I love you and always have, always will. I wish that I could find you now, I'd tell you everything if I could find you. Living without you is more than just painful, it's excruciating.

If I don't find you in just under 2 years then I won't be here anymore. I'll be back in Heaven. Yes, Heaven. I'm already dead really, just alive for punishment. 20 years that's all I got. The person I

hurt got 5 because they were pressuring me. What I am is a Fallen Angel, a person who's dead but has come back to earth because we did something wrong in Heaven. I wish I knew where you were.

It's the only thing I've ever lied to you about, except for the blasphemy where I said that I didn't love you anymore. Which I did, I do. And always will. If I ever find you, I swear I'll tell you

everything, I can't live with the lie anymore because I need you. I'm in Arlington, Verginia if you can find me. I never went to Los Angeles, never anywhere sunny. It's been sixteen years but I'm still

seventeen because I died when I was seventeen, I can't age. I lived in the 15th century, my family was reasonably well off. My mother always expected for her oldest daughter to do so well. The twins

who were 10 years younger than me were both boys. My father's pride. They had their futures all planned out, just like mine. Mine: marry a nice wealthy man (even if I hated him), have as many

kids as I could to carry on the family and raise them to be good sophisticated adults. The twins were going to have better lives. Get a good education, get a well paying job and get a young pretty wife

to have kids and carry on the family name. They'd still have a better life than me. Then the Plague (the Black Death) came and the twins died first, being too young to fight it. Then my mother who had weak health

already and then me. I don't know if my father died of it or not. But he probably did. That's really my life before I died and talking about my life _after_ I died is a bit confusing. I love you, Edward, always.

Your Bella Swan

(Isabella Marie Swan)

I sat back and read over what I written. All my letters were like this, on this subject. Some were longer, more detailed and some were shorter and vaguer. A cool wind suddenly swept through the room and I remembered that the window was open. My head snapped up toward the window. I caught a glimpse of something bronze before it fell below the window. My eyes narrowed. I pushed back my chair and started towards the window. When I looked down there was no-one there. Of course not, I dropped my gaze to our garden. Then I saw a blur of bronze, white and dark blue. My heart leaped into my throat as my head only thought one word.

_Edward._


	3. Breaking down

**A/N: Okay, I've decided that since this story is so popular it'll be the main story I'm working on. So A Dark Twilight is now going more slowly. And Revenge is never Sweet is now on hold. Yes, you may thank me and give me a round of applause. *stands up and bows* Anyway I'm babbling so I'll just let you read and hopefully reveiw, giving me very nice comments about my story. Constructive criticism if you have any, as well, thank you.**

MysteryPOV **(A/N: See if you can tell! There's a preview for the first person to get it!)**

Bella was sure something. Her happiness in the Heaven was immense. She was one of the most content people there. But suddenly she loves Edward Cullen (_Vampire, undead_) more than she did. And now she wishes to find him and stay with him here for as long as time. Never going back to Heaven for a very long time. But how she expects to find him, I don't know but they say that absence makes the heart fonder. I'm happy she's finally found love. Even if it's here.

BPOV

_Edward_

_He _was here. _Edward _was here. Suddenly I froze. I knew that I'd been waiting for this the moment since we left but suddenly I was thinking about if he wouldn't want me after he knew. What if he already hated me for what I did to him? I wrapped my arms around myself, holding myself together. I went weak at the knees and slowly sank to the floor, holding my waist. What if he hated me? If he didn't want me back? It would be no more than I deserved. A choked sob escaped my throat. And another, and another, and another, till I was full out sobbing. I felt strong arms surround me, holding me tight. Hugging me as I cried myself out. Aidian, his body was warm against mine as he held me tight. Slowly my sobs died down and I turned to Aidian, asking with my eyes why he was here. Even though I was grateful that he was.

"You took my book, again" he smiled, dimples appearing on his cheeks, "I wanted it back"

I chuckled wryly. I got up and pulled the book from my bag where I'd dropped it on the floor. I winked as I gave it back to him, feigning jovialness.

"Well, you know mine is falling apart!" His smile fell and he took a step towards me.

"Bella Swain –"

"Don't call me that! You know it's Swan now. And will, probably, always be." I cut him off.

"Bella, it's your birth name. I can call you it if I want. Anyway, why were you crying? You looked like you were about to fall apart." I took a shaky breath and lifted my head to him.

"He's here, Aidian. Here in Cabot." He stiffened. Then rushed to my side and hugged me tightly. I quickly buried my head in his chest even though I realised what this scene would look like to an outsider; a guy comforting his girlfriend. All that really mattered was that _we _knew it wasn't like that. Aidian was great and all but we were only friends and he knew that.

Suddenly he pulled back, drawing his hold back to my upper arms. My hands fell from his waist and wrapped around myself. I had a vague idea what I looked like; tears staining my face, arms holding me together, a strange light of hope in my eyes.

"Bella," he said hesisitantly, "Bella, why are you crying over that? You've wanted to find him since you left." His eyes burning into mine, full of questions. I nodded slowly.

"Yes, of course I'm happy he's here. But what, what if, and he doesn't" I couldn't force the words from my mouth. But Aidian, being the great friend he is nodded in understanding.

"So you're scared that if you tell him about you, then he won't love you. And you're also scared that he already hates you for what you did." I nodded through his self-understanding of the situation, which was right. I couldn't connect eyes with him now though. He lifted my head with a finger.

"Bella from what I've heard he loved you so much it wouldn't matter to him. Just like it didn't matter to you what _he _was. Bella, he'll take you back if you are completely honest with him. Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine that _he _left you. Would _you _take him back?" He paused only slightly because he knew the answer was undoubtedly yes, "Exactly, so he will too"

I took my arms from around my waist; I no longer felt the need to hold myself together. Aidian could do that, but Edward would fill the hole completely, not just make me forget the pain it caused. I hugged him lightly.

"Thank you Aidian" I whispered. Then I let him go and he kissed her forehead. Then he went from the room. I sighed and the door creaked open showing Aidian's head again.

"Oh and Bella. He's outside you window." I whirled around. I there he was, looking incredibly guilty for being caught spying. I turned back to Aidian but the door was closed and he was gone. I turned slowly to face Edward who'd now taken it upon himself to open the window and let himself in.

I sighed quietly and he raised an eyebrow.

"I suppose you want an explanation" I stated and he nodded looking pointedly at me, his arms crossing over his chest.

EPOV

I was just reaching the end of Bella's street (through the backyards) when I heard the most terrifying noise. Bella's choked sob. I froze and turned. I just stood there as Bella's sobs became faster and more pronounced. I could hear them more clearly now. I couldn't stop myself, my feet propelled me back towards the turret bedroom; back to Bella. I heard when her legs gave way and her knees hit the ground. I climbed quietly up to Bella's room. Now I heard the shuffling off feet in her room. Then another set of knees collided with the floor. I got to her window and all coherent thought ceased to run to my head.

I hadn't thought much of the footsteps but know I understood them. Oh, how easily I understood them. There was a 17 year old boy holding her as she choked out her sobs. I quickly summed up that Bella had seen me and started to sob in frustration and anger that I was here. I turned my body to leave but my eyes wouldn't leave the scene before me. Unable to comprehend the fact that Bella had found someone else. Even though she'd moved on from _me_.

Bella's sobs slowly died down as the mystery boy comforted her. When she was quietly she looked up at him her cheeks stained with salt and her face ashen. Then I noticed, her arms were wrapped around herself underneath his, as if she were holding herself together. Though Bella hadn't said anything but the boy's face it up as he smiled, dimples appearing on his cheeks.

"You took my book again. I wanted it back" His voice was lilted and smooth. Not suave though, just kind. Then Bella chuckled half-heartedly and extracted herself from the boy's arms. She went over to a bag near the door that I hadn't noticed it was gold-ish in colour, like the room. She pulled out a book, Wuthering Heights, guess some things never change. She gave it over to him and smiled, winking.

"Well, you know mine is falling apart!" she exclaimed but there was a small falter in her voice and her cheeks weren't any pinker. She was faking and mystery boy seemed to know it, too. His small smile faltered and disappeared. He took a step towards her.

"Bella Swain-" his voice was all concern and sympathy. But Bella didn't seem to realise. When he said Swain, wait … _Swain_? Bella's last name was Swan not Swain. As if Bella was answering my question, she seethed.

"Don't call me that! You know it's Swan now. And will, probably, always be." Bella's cheeks were flushed again, something I was incredibly grateful for.

"Bella, it's your birth name. I can call you it if I want. Anyway, why were you crying? You looked like you were about to fall apart." Bella took a shaky breath and lifted her head to him.

"He's here, Aidian. Here in Cabot." Who the heck was … oh, me. Mystery boy stiffened. Then rushed to her side and hugged her tightly. Bella quickly buried her head in his chest. That small action made me whimper softly in pain. It was obvious that they were together. Mystery boy's head whipped up and around as if he'd heard me and his eyes connected with mine. In that moment I realised several things. One, I had been to caught up in the events taking place in the small room that I hadn't realised that this boy's mind was silent to me as well. Two, Bella and this boy were not dating. It was a very close friendship. And third, this boy smell was as irresistible as Bella's but with a more masculine scent to it. But I could resist that now, heck I could probably even be able to resist her bleeding. Then he mouthed the words I thought I only ever thought that my family (and Bella when she loved me) would say.

'Stay'. And so I did. The boy pulled back placing his hands on Bella's upper arms and her own hands dropped to her waist. She was holding herself together again. But her eyes held a strange light that I couldn't quite define.

"Bella," he said hesitantly, "Bella, why are you crying over that? You've wanted to find him since you left." His eyes burning into Bella's, showing his need to know. Then his last sentence hit me. She. Still. Wants … me. My eyes widened slightly, what the hell had happened with me being a simple _crush_? Then I realised. She'd lied to get me away from her. Just like I'd planned to. I felt slightly sick and numb. But now I was wondering what _was _her secret? She was still seventeen, so she must have left because she didn't want us to find out. So she'd used the most foolproof, most destructive way for me not to follow her. She told me she didn't love me anymore when she did. Bella's words pulled me out of my ecstasy.

"Yes, of course I'm happy he's here. But what, what if, and he doesn't" I could see easily that Bella was finding it hard to force the words through her mouth. But mystery boy nodded in perfect understanding.

"So you're scared that if you tell him about you, then he won't love you. And you're also scared that he already hates you for what you did." Bella nodded through his explanation. However all I could think was how she could think that. How could she think I could _not _accept whatever she was. I loved for eternity, with every single fibre of my being. I guessed that he was subtly trying to tell me something. About her, that would be her secret. And how could I hate her for lying to me when I was going to do exactly the same thing but for different reasons. Bella was refusing to look at him so he placed a finger under her chin and tilted it up.

"Bella from what I've heard he loved you so much it wouldn't matter to him. Just like it didn't matter to you what _he _was. Bella, he'll take you back if you are completely honest with him. Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine that _he _left you. Would _you _take him back?" He paused only slightly, did that mean he knew the answer? "Exactly, so he will too"

…

…

…

For a moment I was lost for words. Yes, I Edward Always-has-something-smart-and-witty-to-say Cullen was lost for words. Because she would've taken me back. If I'd left her she'd have taken me back.

Bella took her arms from her waist; she must have been comforted by his kind words. Then she hugged him lightly.

"Thank you Aidian" she whispered as she let him go. So that's his name, Aidian. As he kissed her forehead gently goodbye I felt envy crawl and writhe inside of the pit of my stomach. Then he went from the room. I sighed and the door creaked open showing Aidian's head again.

"Oh and Bella. He's outside you window." She whirled around and her eyes caught mine. I was caught in the act. Bella whirled around again to be greeted by the sight of the door Aidian had closed just moments ago. My heart sank into my shoes, she must not want to talk to me. I struggle between myself for a second, before curiosity won out and I opened the window and let my self in. Bella turned slowly to face me as she realised that he was gone so she had no choice but to talk to me.

When she saw that I'd let myself in she sighed heavily. I raised an eyebrow. What could that sigh mean? Surrender? Relief? Exhaustion?

"I suppose you want an explanation" She said clearly and I nodded slowly looking pointedly at her, silently asking why she was still seventeen. I was also slowing drinking in the sight of my personal goddess. I crossed my arms over my chest. Now she knew she was going to have to spill. She knew me well enough for that.


	4. Isabel Mary Swain

BPOV

I was caught. I knew it. I closed my eyes and pulled my hands up to cover my eyes as if they were sore. Or as if I was tired, which I was. I was exhausted already and I hadn't even said anything yet! I took my hands away from my face. Edward was now sitting on the couch. I sighed again and turned. He was in front of me in a second.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. I simply rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to call Charlie." He frowned.

"Why?"

"To tell him you're here and I'll be going over to wherever you live here." I paused, "Everyone's home right?" he nodded.

"Yes, why?" he looked so confused.

"I'm going to tell everyone. My past is too long to explain several times. I get tired just explaining it once" I smiled weakly, and pushed past him. I walked calmly down the stairs and grabbed the phone and dialled Charlie's mobile number. There were a few rings before,

"_Hello, Bella. Why are you calling?"_

I sighed into the phone.

"Charlie," Edward who had been looking less confused became even more confused than before. I had always tried to call Charlie 'dad when we were together around other people. "He's here. I'm going to go over to his place explain it to all the others" there was silence on the other end of the line. Then,

"_They're in Cabot?"_

"Yes, Charlie. Now I just have to explain it to them … and hope that they accept it" Edward shot me a look. The look that said, 'What do you mean, accept it?' I shrugged and mouthed 'soon'.

"_Be careful. I don't want a repeat of the birthday. Even if you do."_

Edward was staring openly at me now. I rolled my eyes at Charlie's comment but did nothing to indicate that it wasn't true because that would be lying. And I wouldn't lie to Edward any more.

"Thank you, Charlie" my voice slipped back into it's British accent for a second when I said 'Charlie' and Edward's eyes widened fractionally.

"_Yes, and be careful with your accent until you tell them. Bye, Bella" _

Obviously I blushed when Charlie told me to keep my accent under wraps for a bit. Edward took the phone from my hands and placed it back on its hook. He gently put his hands on my upper arms and I jolted with the shock his touch gave me but I didn't pull away. His eyes stared into mine, burning away the lies and deceit.

"Bella." he whispered and his cool breath brushed against my face. My eyes closed in bliss. "Bella, why did you have our prom picture? Why is it special to you? How can you still be seventeen when you had your eighteenth birthday with us?" I jerked back out of his arms, my eyes snapping open. What how did he know I was still _seventeen_?

He caught the look on my face and his lips quirked up.

"Alice said that you'd enrolled as a junior at the local high school." I made a face,

"You were right. Repeating high school sucks, and I've only done 5 times." He laughed outright at that. Even my lips were pulling up at the corners. Then I sighed and I had his attention immediately.

"I suppose you deserve your answers. I love you. I always have and I lied in the forest." He froze.

"Bella …" he whispered. I waited, looking at my feet, "I can't blame you because I was planning to do the same. But I think you know that …" I nodded. I had. I'd seen the way he'd suddenly distanced himself after the birthday party. "But I don't get why." I looked up at that and took an automatic step back. He was closer than he had been. He took another step closer again.

"Why" he whispered again.

"Edward, I'm still seventeen. I think you would have noticed that I wasn't growing up. Also it was getting dangerous to be around you. But I don't care any more." His face was hurt and confused. I smiled wryly, "Like they say, absence makes the heart fonder." I sighed and turned again, winding my way back up the stairs where I grabbed my laptop and backpack. I shoved my laptop into my bag and put it on my back. Then I turned to Edward. He was still gaping at me. I took a step closer and slid my arms around his neck. His eyes widened but he didn't stop me, nor did he pull me closer. I leant closer and gently pressed my lips to his own as I entered my personal heaven. After a moment he started to respond. His arms snaked around my waist, pulling me closer to him and his lips started to move against mine. I was in pure heaven until, like always, he pulled away. He smiled seeing my dazed expression.

"You still smell as delectable as before." I grinned slightly as well,

"A small side effect of what I am" Now his smile faltered as he remembered that I had a secret I had yet to share.

"You're human, Bella" he tried and my smile fell.

"For the most part" I whispered. And he looked tortured. I sighed,

"Let's just go to your home and get story-time over and done with." He smiled lightly at my words and slung me onto his back. I buried my face into his neck and breathed in his scent. I felt him climb down from my small tower room and land on the ground with a slight jolt. Then he was off, running faster than light itself but barely putting any effort into it. Finally we arrived at a wood and stone mansion that was every bit as charming and isolated as the house in Forks. Alice, was standing just outside the house with a large grin on her face. There was no doubt that she'd seen everything that had just taken place. Behind her looking very hostile was Rosalie and Emmett. Of course I couldn't truly be scared of any of the Cullen's now as all they could do would be either turn me, which I actually wanted now. Or kill me which I would just do something bad in Heaven again and come back and find them again.

I slid off Edward's back and was immediately assaulted by verbally by Rosalie.

"What the hell are you doing here? You ruin our family and tear Edward to pieces." I winced, "You're just here to do it again. Aren't you? You just take sick pleasure in other people's-"

"Enough, Rosalie." Edward growled. Suddenly Jasper, Esme and Carlisle appeared from the door and their eyes latch onto me. Esme and Carlisle's eyes widened, obviously catching onto what Rosalie had skipped over in her haste to insult me. '_tear Edward to pieces_'. I winced again; I knew I had, simply because I had been.

"Bella" Carlisle said softly, "Come in." I nodded in thanks and was steered to a small couch by Edward who sat me down on his lap. I had feeling I wouldn't be there long. I would probably pace up and down while telling my story. I watched the rest of the Cullen's sit down, watching me and Edward.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us, Bella?" Carlisle asked calmly. I sighed,

"Yes, two things. Firstly, I lied. I love Edward with my whole heart and always have. Jasper you would know that." He nodded,

"Yes, I did. I couldn't understand what you said when you left him. It didn't fit with what I felt and I said as much. Needless to say no-one listened. It's nice to nice I was right" I smiled at him.

"No need to be smug about it though." I replied and Jasper's lips twisted up into a small smile. I turned to Carlisle,

"The second is," I closed my eyes and breathed deeply for a second and then finished my sentence without opening my eyes. "I'm dead and have been for as long as you've known me and centuries before." Edward stiffened beside me and I heard all the Cullen's take a deep breath as they listened to my temporary heatbeat.

Edward was the first person the speak,

"Bella, that's insane and not funny. We can all hear your heartbeat." I opened my eyes and saw all the Cullen's stare al me as if I was insane. Which I'm sure I probably seemed to be. I ignore their disbelieving faces and Edward's comment and kept going.

"I was born in London, 1332, 16th of January. In the 5th year of the reign of King Edward III, on the 16th day of the year. I had a mother and father and 2 brothers, twins." I let my voice slip back into its old London (British) accent and Jasper and Carlisle's eyes widened. "We were reasonably wealthy but not filthy rich and not that well-known. My birth name is Isabel Mary Swain. The twins were my father's pride. Even though all three of us had our lives planned out for us. I was already due to be married in 1350. To …" I struggled to remember his name. I couldn't then sighed, "I can't remember his name. I think I only saw him 3 times. Anyway, I was 16 when the Black Plague became known. It was 1348. The hospitals were full and only the doctors would go there it was so bad. Soon the streets of London were full of people carrying the plague. The hospitals and homes given up to house the sick had become full. My family stayed at home, have our food delivered to our door so we wouldn't catch it too. In March of 1349, the man I was promised to fell ill. I suppose it would be mean to say I was ecstatic. I didn't like him. He was chosen for me simply because he was high of status. He wasn't a nice man but my parents didn't care, he was giving them a boost in status. My brothers were 10 years younger than me because my mother had so many miscarriages. In … September, I think my brothers became ill with the Plague. My parents panicked and we all fled to the country. My mother tried to nurse my brothers back to health but had no luck. They were only 7 at the time and were to young to fight it. Then my mother fell ill because of already frail health and from being around my brothers too much. When she fell ill my father ordered me to care for her. So I did. My father said one day that he was going out to hunt for more food. I was already sick from it already but didn't say anything because I was already caring for the one person in my world at the time who cared if I lived or died. A couple of hours after he left my mother died. I knew he wouldn't care, he would only care that he himself was alive and free of illness. He never loved her anyway, Even my brothers could see that but they couldn't see the darkness in my father because he was so nice to them. They were the future of our family, as he said. I knew I was getting worse so when my mother died I positioned her so she looked like she was sleeping and tried for the first time to look after myself. But it was too late for me to help myself. I soon realised it and wrote a short letter to my father telling him what had happened. And I died within the next 3 hours. I just gave up. I don't even know if he even came home and read it."

I paused for a second and realised that somewhere during my explanation I'd closed my eyes. I opened them to seethe Cullen's staring at me openly.

"Do you believe me now?" I asked. Carlisle nodded. Jasper shook his head in disbelieving acceptance,

"She just described the life of a victim of The Black Death perfectly. There were subtle facts that most expert historians wouldn't even know about. And her accent isn't heard any more. It's an old London accent used in the times she's describing. Now most Londoners speak in Cockney or just have a British accent. But other than an old friend of Maria's I've never heard anyone talk in that accent." I frowned.

"What's wrong with my accent?" I asked, annoyed. Jasper laughed.

"Nothing, I think it's nice. But I guess it's your opinion. My favourite accent would be Texan of course." I smiled back.

"Bella." I turned to Carlisle. "If you died in 1349, how are you here now?" I frowned and sighed again.

"Your definitely sighing a lot today, love." Edward whispered in my ear his cool breath brushed my earlobe and I shivered. I closed my eyes again.

"I'm just slightly stressed; under the circumstances. I really should have told you before but at that time I didn't _want_ …" I struggled for a second then let it go with another sigh. I opened my eyes and looked at Carlisle again.

"To answer your question … Well, this where it gets really complicated. There is a place after death. Almost exactly like this one, just more in touch with nature, infinitely more beautiful and so incredibly peaceful. There is Death who is the queen of Heaven as it's called. She deals out the punishments for people who do anything to hurt others. All murderers, rapists, and vampires alike are given a second chance to redeem themselves. If they can't turn from their ways, they are turned away and are used for under aged 'Angels', like me. Now let me explain that last part. Since our land is called Heaven we tend to go with the Christian religion and call ourselves 'Fallen Angels' or just 'Angels'. Charlie's my 'Guardian Angel'. But we just call them our Guardian's. Charlie was a vampire when he was human but since there are no vampires in Heaven he just murdered people to watch their blood fall. Death made him a guardian and needless to say he hates being human and now repents everything he's ever done. He is not my father by the way. Just my guardian. His human name was Charles Swan. He lived in 1763 but I won't go into that. Now he's a police officer because he can go back to Heaven if he saves as many lives as he ended. It's going to take him a long time to do that though. Anyway, you saw Aidian, right? Well, he was pressuring me to do something I didn't want to and I lashed out when my temper got the better of me. Even in Heaven you still have a temper and things such as lust and jealously. Nowhere is perfect, though Heaven is pretty close. So I was taken before the queen and she gave me 20 years on Earth for lashing out and Aidian 5 years for pressuring me. It's actually a pretty short time on Earth since I've known that someone got just over 2 centuries for hurting someone. Everyone is given a fair trial. And about murder in Heaven it _is_ actually possible to die in death. You just sort of, cease to exist. People will remember you, there'll just be no records of you or any trace of you anywhere. I'm not really going into specifics of my life in Heaven, it's way too complicated but basically, I've been looking for you basically since I left, the pain was too much. And I only have 2 years left of being on Earth. Then Charlie will go on his way." I felt Edward stiffen underneath me.

"You die in 2 years and there's nothing to stop it?" he growled. I made a face I knew he wouldn't like this.

"There is _one _way to stay here, but not necessarily _alive_" I replied and Edward's head whipped up. I noticed in the back of my mind that his lips were just inches from mine but all I could think of was his smouldering eyes.

"So either way you die? Is that what you're saying?" he hissed.

"Edward, I'm already dead. It doesn't really matter. Except that you're my heaven now. If I go back I'll back I'd probably just hurt someone to get another punishment period. Heaven is nothing without love." He just stared at me and I'm pretty sure the rest of the family was too.

**A/N: Next chapter is Edward's!! :)**


	5. Her Story, My Bella

EPOV

She closed her eyes and put her gentle hands to them, rubbing as if she were tired. I sat down couch and got comfortable. After a few moments she took them away and looked at me. She sighed heavily, again, and swiftly turned to the door. She was _leaving_? No, I wouldn't let her walk away again. I was in front of her in an instant.  
"Where do you think you're going?" I asked angrily. Bella just rolled her eyes at me. I backtracked. She rolled her _eyes_ at me?

"I'm going to call Charlie" I frowned. What? Was she procrastinating? Or was she just trying to get away from me. Ignoring the stabbing pain in my chest when I thought that, I asked,

"Why?"

"To tell him you're here and I'll be going over to wherever you live here." She paused slightly while I went into a slight shock. Had Bella just invited herself over? She'd practically ordered it. Where'd this part of Bella come from? I was knocked out of my thoughts by Bella continuing her sentence.

"Everyone's home, right?" She asked. I blinked,

"Yes, why?" I replied

"I'm going to tell everyone. My past is too long to explain several times. I get tired just explaining it once" She tried to smile, (failing miserably) and pushed past me gently. Opening the door and exiting without a backward glance. My heart clenched again but I followed her repeating Aidian's words over and over in my head.

_She's been looking for me. She's been looking for me. She's been looking for me._

I shadowed her down the stairs. She seemed pretty calm till she reached out and grabbed the phone. She put in the numbers and pressed the phone to her ear. I leaned against the wall infront of her so I could see her face. I heard the dial tone, then …

"_Hello, Bella. Why are you calling?"_

Bella sighed into the phone as if trying not to regret telling him.

"Charlie" She said and I felt my brow furrow in confusion. She'd always called Charlie 'Dad'. Sure she slipped in his presence sometimes but always ended up saying 'Dad' at the end. She'd never said it straight out like this. Not even a mention of him being her father. "He's here. I'm going to go over to his place explain it to all the others." There was a pause on the other end of the line then finally Charlie said.

"_They're in Cabot?"_

"Yes, Charlie. Now I just have to explain it to them … and hope that they accept it." I blinked and then glared at her. But I couldn't keep up glaring at my love, so I dropped it and returned to my neutral expression. How could see think that I could ever not love her? I would accept anything about her if it meant I could just stay with her. She shrugged and mouthed 'soon'.

"_Be careful, I don't want a repeat of the birthday. Even if you do."_

Okay, _now_ was when I gaped. I swear, if I were still human I would have died on the spot. Just from shock. She … wanted … a repeat …of … her birthday. Charlie … knew … what we … were. I'm pretty sure I look a bit like a fish at the moment now. Jaw hitting the floor, eyes bugging out, leaning forward. Well, minus the jaw hitting the floor. Though it may have been a possibility.

"Thanks, Charlie." And just for a second Bella's voice changed. It sounded slightly … _British_, as she said 'Charlie'. Had she lived in Britain? But most of all why had she kept her American accent if she now had a British one? Then again, it wasn't the only question that was running through my head at the moment.

"_Yes, and be careful with your accent until you tell them. Bye, Bella" _

I saw Bella blush beautifully. I was lost for a moment in the complete and utter beauty of her. Was it possible that she had gotten more beautiful? That brought back my other questions; ones of probably more importance. I saw that she was still holding the phone and quickly stepped forward, pulling the phone from her ear and putting it back on its hook. I put my hands on her arms and realising how close we were I looked down. I saw her eyes staring into mine; no longer icy like last time I'd seen her. I couldn't stand it anymore so I said the first thing that came to mind. My top three questions.

"Bella" I breathed, her eyes glazed over before her lids fell shut, her eyelashes resting delicately on her cheeks.

"Bella, why did you have our prom picture? Why is it special to you? How can you still be seventeen when you had your eighteenth birthday with us?" Bella jolted out of my grip and stared at me in shock and curiosity. I knew instantly what she was shocked about. I smiled,

"Alice said that you'd enrolled as a junior at the local high school." She made a face and pronounced,

"You were right. Repeating high school sucks, and I've only done 5 times." I laughed loudly. To me it sounded bittersweet. 'You were right' were the words she used when she left, but I doubt she realised it. I could see her lips pulling up at the corners, apparently my laughter was contagious. Suddenly Bella sighed, I stopped laughing. Had she seen the bittersweet meaning behind her words? That question was answered when she spoke. No, she hadn't. But she was going to answer my other ones.

"I suppose you deserve your answers. I love you. I always have and I lied in the forest." I froze. She'd done exactly what I'd planned to do. I could see now that she was telling the absolute truth this time. Her eyes were expressing her emotions for me. I now understood why her eyes had been so emotionless. I understood; saw how much she loved me. How much it had torn her apart to do that. And I felt … I felt sad. Sad because she'd been in as much pain as I had. I felt sad because if she hadn't done it, I would have. One way or another, one of us would have torn apart themselves and the other.

"Bella …" I whispered, and she looked at her feet, blocking my portal to her mind. I had to keep talking, I had to see that beautiful mind of hers. Those beautiful, expressive eyes. "I can't blame you because I was planning to do the same. But I think you know that …" She nodded silently but she still didn't look up. I stepped closer to her and said, "But I don't get why."

Her head snapped up and she took and automatic step back, her mind registering that I'd gotten closer. I stepped forward again. "Why?" I whispered again. She looked up at me and murmured,

"Edward, I'm still seventeen. I think you would have noticed that I wasn't growing up. Also it was getting dangerous to be around you. But I don't care any more." She realised I was dangerous. Was that why she'd left? Of course, but then again, there was her secret. I also understood her reasoning. It was exactly the same reason we moved around so much … _and _the excuse I was going to give her, for leaving, before _she_ left. Great minds think alike, that suits the situation so much it's just not funny.

She turned and winded her way up the stairs again. I followed her, never letting her out of my sight. I never would again, even if she pushed me away again, kicking and screaming. I'm so damn selfish when it comes to her. She grabbed her laptop, why, I don't know, and shoved it into her back pack. She slung it onto her back while swinging round to face me. She stared at me for a moment. God, her eyes were so beautiful! How in the world could she still love _me_? She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my neck and I felt my eyes widen. She was willing to kiss me, again already? Her lips crashed onto mine and kissed me gently; trying to tempt a response out of me. It didn't take much, I snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her against me with gentle but firm force. Our lips moved in sync with each others and I was in heaven for a few simple moments … before I had to take a damn breath. Her scent swirled around me and scorched my senses, even though it didn't tempt me to take the lovely hot liquid pumping through her veins any longer, it did tempt me to take something else …

I pulled back and saw her beautifully dazed expression. Ha! I'd 'dazzled' her! I smiled and opened my mouth to lie … only slightly,

"You still smell as delectable as before." Her eyes focused back in on me and she whispered quietly,

"A small side-affect of what I am"

"You're human, Bella" I said slightly desperately, my smile faltering and disappearing. Her secret.

"For the most part" she whispered even quieter than before, I felt my face contort to show the sudden agony I felt. If she wasn't human, what was she? My Bella couldn't be anything bad, but the way she was acting seemed to imply that it was bad; very, very bad. I wish she'd just tell me, damn it!

"Let's just go to your home and get story-time over and done with." I smiled lightly at her wording and carefully slung her small frame onto my back. She buried her face into my neck and I shivered slightly when her hot breath brushed across my cold skin. I felt her inhale my scent deeply and I grinned and clambered out the window dropped lightly to the ground. I ran full speed to our home, knowing Alice would be waiting and also that she would have seen what had gone down between me and Bella. But I was more worried about what the others would think and react. I knew that Rosalie would hate Bella even more than she did before. Emmett would probably take her side no matter how horrible the things she said were. I knew they would both be purposely mean because Bella had left me and torn me to pieces. I winced. Esme would be immediately nice to Bella, all motherly. Esme could never come down on a person younger than her with real fury. It was Carlisle that I wasn't sure of. He was capable of being mean when it included a family member's pain but he was also very compassionate and submissive.

I finally heard the thoughts of my family come into range as I darted quickly through the snow covered forest.

_She's coming back? She's still here? She's with him? _– Esme

_Oh, I could kill her. She's caused this family so much pain. She tore it apart. I could kill her, but I won't because of how much he loves her. _– Rosalie. I let out a quiet growl, too low for Bella to hear.

_Rose seems just as angry as me, though I'm sure she's more furious than I am. How the heck could sweet, klutsy Bella have done that to him? He's been through so much pain and now she's just going to come back? _– Emmett

_Yay! Bella's coming! She didn't mean any of it! They're happy, oh, I should probably tell Jasper what happened so he can calm everyone and make them more rational. Bella's coming! Yay!_ – I pulled out before Alice's mind drove me insane.

_Hmm … Bella's coming? It seems like there's more to this than we thought. _– I sighed with relief, Carlisle would be rational. I didn't bother listening on any more. I knew how Carlisle would approach the situation and I knew who was going to react badly to it. Our new home came into view and with it, Rosalie, Alice and Emmett. Alice was only one not glaring at Bella, in fact she was practically jumping up and down. I felt Bella slide off my back, not in the least bit scared of the two angry vampires in front of us. What had happened while she was gone? Screw that, what had happened before she'd gone?

"What the hell are you doing here? You ruin our family and tear Edward to pieces." I saw Bella wince and my heart clenched, "You're just here to do it again. Aren't you? You just take sick pleasure in other people's-"

"Enough, Rosalie." I growled at her. I hated her for vocalising that, even though it was true. And she could see it was true, as well as I knew it. The complete emotionless mask on her face right now, just told me how much agony she was in from just hearing those words. It was probably good that Bella couldn't read minds like I could. Who was I kidding? It _was _an incredibly good thing. I never wanted her to see the images that Rosalie was throwing at her mentally, at the moment. Right then Carlisle, Esme and Jasper walked through the front door, Carlisle's eyes rose, noticing what everyone else had discarded in the need to be furious at Bella.

"Bella" Carlisle said softly, "Come in." Bella nodded and I eagerly steered her into the house, heading straight for the one-person couch. I sat down and pulled her on top of me. I could feel my family's stares but all I could think about, at this moment, was; what was Bella's secret?

"Is there something you'd like to tell us, Bella?" Carlisle asked calmly. Bella sighed. I could see the conflict raging in her eyes.

"Yes, two things. Firstly, I lied. I love Edward with my whole heart and always have. Jasper you would know that." He nodded, his lips starting to curve up into a smug smile.

"Yes, I did. I couldn't understand what you said when you left him. It didn't fit with what I felt and I said as much. Needless to say no-one listened. It's nice to nice I was right"

"No need to be smug about it though." I almost laughed, looks like Bella hadn't missed that smile then. I quickly decided that I loved this side of Bella. Jasper smile broadened and Bella turned back to Carlisle.

"The second is," She closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, finishing her sentence without opening her eyes. "I'm dead and have been for as long as you've known me and centuries before." I went rigid. She was dead? No, that was impossible … yet, how else did you explain how she wasn't aging. Yet if you were dead how could you have the beautiful pounding heartbeat, and hot, warm blood running through your veins, like she did? It would explain a lot of things but also created a lot more questions. It just wasn't possible but what reason did she have to lie? Tasteful joke, Bella. That couldn't be her secret, it just wasn't possible. You're dead, your heart is silent and you're drained of blood. You're alive and your heart beats and blood flows through your veins.

"Bella, that's insane and not funny. We can all hear your heartbeat" I said very seriously. Half-expecting her to leap up and say it was a joke and tell her real secret. Even though I knew that Bella wasn't like that. Bella opened her eyes taking in all our disbelieved faces. She ignored my comment and kept going, now aware of our reactions.

"I was born in London, 1332. In the 5th year of the reign of King Edward III, on the 16th day of the year. I had a mother and father and 2 brothers, twins." Her voice suddenly slipped back into it's British accent and Jasper and Carlisle's eyes widened.

_That's not possible. She sounds as if she's from London … my time. 300 years ago, this can't be possible but then again, what do we know of the after life as we have yet to die? _– Carlisle

_I've only ever heard one other person speak like that. He was centuries old, a good friend of Maria's. He was from the time she's describing. _– Jasper

I inwardly gaped at their thoughts. This is impossible, and yet they're considering it. Bella, my only love, dead. Impossible. Insane. Not comprehendable. Bella hadn't even paused and my mind didn't miss a word, just heard Carlisle and Jasper's thoughts and listened and comprehended the thoughts within seconds.

"We were reasonably wealthy but not filthy rich and not that well-known. My birth name is Isabella Mary Swain. The twins were my father's pride. Even though all three of us had our lives planned out for us. I was already due to be married in 1350. To …" Bella paused and jealousy surged through my veins. In her past life she had been going to be married. Wait, now I believed her? "I can't remember his name. I think I only saw him 3 times. Anyway, I was 16 when the Black Plague became known. It was 1348. The hospitals were full and only the doctors would go there it was so bad. Soon the streets of London were full of people carrying the plague. The hospitals and homes given up to house the sick had become full. My family stayed at home, had our food delivered to our door so we wouldn't catch it too.

"In March of 1349, the man I was promised to fell ill. I suppose it would be mean to say I was ecstatic." I _became_ ecstatic. She hadn't liked him, why hadn't I seen that before? "I didn't like him. He was chosen for me simply because he was high of status. He wasn't a nice man but my parents didn't care, he was giving them a boost in status. My brothers were 10 years younger than me because my mother had so many miscarriages. In … September, I think, my brothers became ill with the Plague. My parents panicked and we all fled to the country. My mother tried to nurse my brothers back to health but had no luck. They were only 7 at the time and were too young to fight it. Then my mother fell ill because of already frail health and from being around my brothers too much. When she fell ill my father ordered me to care for her. So I did. My father said one day that he was going out to hunt for more food. I was already sick from it already but didn't say anything because I was already caring for the one person in my world at the time who cared if I lived or died. A couple of hours after he left my mother died. I knew he wouldn't care, he would only care that he himself was alive and free of illness. He never loved her anyway, even my brothers could see that but they couldn't see the darkness in my father because he was so nice to them. I knew I was getting worse so when my mother died I positioned her so she looked like she was sleeping and tried for the first time to look after myself. But it was too late for me to help myself. I soon realised it and wrote a short letter to my father telling him what had happened. And I died within the next 3 hours. I just gave up. I don't know if he even came home and read it."

I couldn't help but believe her now. The wall that she'd put up before telling her story had collapsed when she'd told us of her mother's death. The raw emotion in her voice was real and throbbing with dulled pain. My dead heart seemed like it was trying throb along with her pain. I just held her tighter, I just couldn't do anything else, because her pain was mine and I was in pain just as much as she was. Bella opened her eyes and asked,  
"Do you believe me now?" Carlisle just nodded and Jasper shook his head disbelievingly, his eyes hiding the pain he felt her and me transmitting.  
"She just described the life of a victim of The Black Death perfectly. There were subtle facts that most expert historians wouldn't even know about. And her accent isn't heard any more. It's an old London accent used in the times she's describing. Now most Londoners speak in Cockney or just have a British accent. But other than an old friend of Maria's I've never heard anyone talk in that accent." Bella frowned,

"What's wrong with my accent?" I almost laughed. She was so cute when she was confused.

"Nothing, I think it's nice. But I guess it's your opinion. My favourite accent would be Texan of course." Bella smiled back at Jasper.

"Bella." We both turned to Carlisle in sync. "If you died in 1349, how are you here now?" I frowned and Bella sighed again. I leaned forward to whisper in her ear,

"Your definitely sighing a lot today, love." She shivered and I smirked, it was short lived because she soon replied,

"I'm just slightly stressed; under the circumstances. I really should have told you before but at that time I didn't _want_ …" she stressed the 'want' in her sentence and then left us hanging she struggled to say the next bit. All too soon she sighed again as she gave up. She looked towards Carlisle again and re-started her explanation.

"To answer your question … Well, this where it gets really complicated. There is a place after death. Almost exactly like this one, just more in touch with nature, infinitely more beautiful and so incredibly peaceful. There is Death who is the queen of Heaven as it's called. She deals out the punishments for people who do anything to hurt others. All murderers, rapists, and vampires alike are given a second chance to redeem themselves. If they can't turn from their ways, they are turned away and are used for under aged 'Angels', like me. Now let me explain that last part. Since our land is called Heaven we tend to go with the Christian religion and call ourselves 'Fallen Angels' or just 'Angels'. Charlie's my 'Guardian Angel'. But we just call them our Guardian's. Charlie was a vampire when he was alive but since there are no vampires in Heaven he just murdered people to watch their blood fall." I blanched, Charlie had been a vampire? Then wouldn't she have recognised what we were? She was _living _with a former vampire?! But Charlie was so … _good_.

"Death made him a guardian and needless to say he hates being human and now repents everything he's ever done. He is not my father by the way. Just my guardian. His human name was Charles Swan. He lived in 1763 but I won't go into that. Now he's a police officer because he can go back to Heaven if he saves as many lives as he ended. It's going to take him a long time to do that though. Anyway, you saw Aidian, right? Well, he was pressuring me to do something I didn't want to and I lashed out when my temper got the better of me. Even in Heaven you still have a temper and things such as lust and jealously. Nowhere is perfect, though Heaven is pretty close. So I was taken before the queen and she gave me 20 years on Earth for lashing out and Aidian 5 years for pressuring me. It's actually a pretty short time on Earth since I've known that someone got just over 2 centuries for hurting someone. Everyone is given a fair trial. And about murder in Heaven it _is_ actually possible to die in death. You just sort of, cease to exist. People will remember you, there'll just be no records of you or any trace of you anywhere. I'm not really going into specifics of my life in Heaven, it's way too complicated but basically, I've been looking for you basically since I left, the pain was too much. And I only have 2 years left of being on Earth. Then Charlie will go on his way."

I growled and nearly yelled,

"You die in 2 years and there's nothing to stop it?" Bella's face scrunched up, not in concentration, in frustration. In her next words I lost all hope and a spark of hope ignited inside me.

My head whipped up and my eyes bore into hers tearing away her secrets. Her words echoed inside my again and again, over and over, on eternal repeat.

_There is _one_ way to stay here, but not necessarily _alive_…_

"So either way you die? Is that what you're saying?" I hissed. I did not want this for her! This life, if her heaven is so perfect and accept why can't I just join her there?

"Edward, I'm already dead." She replied, "It doesn't really matter. Except that you're my heaven now. If I go back I'll back I'd probably just hurt someone to get another punishment period. Heaven is nothing without love." I blinked. Was she kidding? Did she truly love me _that_ much? Did she truly love me as much as I loved her? Truly? My head was a muddle of thought and emotion. My eyes just stared into hers, desperately trying to show all the emotion, all the confliction that I was feeling in that single moment. Finally I managed to open my mouth, but the only work I could possibly choke out in that second was,

"Bella…"


	6. How I'm Dead

BPOV

One word slipped past my love's lips in a faint whisper,

"Bella" His eyes so full of shock seemed frozen as if he couldn't believe what he'd just heard me say. It seemed that I needed to _show_ him how much I actually loved him. I crashed my lips to his, dominating the kiss but still being gentle and putting every ounce of love I held for him into it. I _needed _for him to understand. I couldn't stand there being any doubt of my love, that there was any belief left of the lie I'd told him 16 years ago. Hesitantly his arms lifted and wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him but not crushing me against him.

"If you feel like taking your happy reunion any further, please remove yourselves to a different room please." Came Emmett booming from the far end of the room and we carefully broke apart. Edward lifted a hand to my cheek and let it rest there. I smiled lightly and turned my head to glare at Emmett. To my (and everyone else's) surprise, he shrunk away from my glare instead of challenging me. I smirked and re-situated myself on Edward's lap comfortably, his arms still wrapped protectively around me.

"Any more questions?" I queried simply. I felt Edwards lips at my neck as he kissed it softly and started to travel upwards to my ear. Alice beat him to the punch and yelled across the room,

"What was he trying to pressure you to do?" Edward's lips left my skin as he looked up at me but I could still feel the whisper of his breath blowing across my earlobe.

I groaned and answered,

"I wondered if you'd ask that. No, I knew you would. It wasn't anything bad really, I just couldn't do it."

"Specifics, please Bella" Edward said into my ear roughly. I got what they wanted to know. I laughed at the thought of Aidian wanting _that_ with me. I fell into a fit of laughter, I was doing everything but rolling around on the floor. When I finally managed to repress my hysterics I answered rather breathlessly,

"Oh God, no. Aidian would never want _that _with me. He wasn't trying to pressure me into _sex_." I doubled over into another short fit of laughter and I felt Edward relax beneath me. I quickly regained control of myself and started again. "No, our relationship is completely platonic. He's my best friend. No, there was kind of craze going on in Heaven at the time. Cliff-diving. **(A/N: I had to. I just had to) **It seemed a cool thing to do but Aidian didn't want to try it without me. Every day he'd practically _beg_ me to come to the cliffs. One day he got me as far as the edge but I still couldn't do it. He kept pressing me to go first so he knew I'd actually done it. So I ... ummm ... well ..." I was blushing lightly now. Alice's eyes clouded for a second before she doubled over in fits.

"Just say it Bella" she choked out. I turned gently scarlet as I spat out,

"I pushed him off the cliff and yelled after him that at least now; he'd tried cliff-diving" for a moment there was total silence except for Alice's hysterical laughter before Emmett's booming voice joined hers. Jasper fell to the ground in a very undignified fashion, his gift soaking up the emotions in the room making him bark out his laughter in short pants. Esme started to giggle slightly and Edward buried his face into my shoulder blade, snorting quietly. Even Carlisle's lips were starting to twitch upward; the only person who watched on unaffected was Rosalie, who maintained her icy-calm demeanour through it all. Me, blushing my trademark red all the way to my toes.

Jasper was the first to stop his hysterics then using his gift, calmed the rest of the room down with a constant flow of calm. I felt one of Edward's hands lift from my waist to caress my cheek, leaned into it and let out a deep breath slowly. Edward chuckled and leaned into my ear and whispered,

"Do you want a tour of our new house?" I shivered as his lips scraped the bottom of my earlobe.

"Umm ... sure" I quickly replied and stood up. He got up as well, sensing my need to get away from the staring gazes of his family. Especially Rosalie's, who seemed just as cold as when I first met her. He took my hand gently, pulling me away from everyone and across to a simple stairwell set against the wall. He smiled reassuringly, leading me up it to the second floor. The walls turned to a creamy white and as soon as we were a few steps down the hall (I'm fairly sure that everyone had scattered or something) he turned and held my upper arms again.

"Bella, ignore Rosalie. Please, she's just in shock and she always puts on a mask to hide that. She'll warm up to it soon." I raised my eyebrows and answered,

"Oh, really? Rosalie's never liked me in the first place so why would she warm up to me _now_?" He groaned and dragged me down the hall opening a door and I gasped. Inside there was a couch, a pile of blank canvases in a corner and two bookshelves that took up one wall. One was full of CD's and the other of baskets and books (obviously). The walls, ceiling and carpet were black but the ceiling and walls were splattered with silver paint, as if a disco ball had exploded in it. But that wasn't what caught my eye. It was the several paintings of me from different angles and different expressions. There were also a few of Alice, Esme, Carlisle and a couple of the Forks home. I chuckled lightly and turned on him again.

"Can't you be bad at _something_?" I asked still laughing quietly, seeing his look of sheer embarrassment. He'd obviously forgotten about them. He now gaped and raised his eyebrows at my statement.

"Aren't you going to say 'Obsessive, aren't you?' or 'Jeez, Edward. Slightly, creepy'?" I snorted at that.

"Edward. Since when have I ever done or said what you expected? Besides, I'd be lying if I said I didn't do something of the like." He frowned looking so confused. I wondered what was going through his head right now. Probably wondering what I'd done or how I pegged things so rightly. Yes, I am complimenting myself. Huh, I'm getting stranger by the minute. He finally shook his head, his mop of unruly hair flopping in his eyes.

"Did you paint us or something?" Now it was my turn to gape at him. Was he _really_ that clueless? Obviously he was.

"Edward." I started, suddenly exasperated with him. "You saw me doing it. Every day for the last fourteen years I wrote a letter that I would never, could never send, explaining everything." His eyes widened and I could almost see the gears in his head working. I shook mine and whispered,

"Yes, I've written 5'156 letters." His head shot up and he immediately pulled me to the couch. He lay down and pulled me on top of him. My head rested on his chest, just below his head and his arms swung around to hold me tightly.

He pulled me up slightly so that my head was next to his and his honey-lilac breath wrapped around me. He turned his head and buried it in my neck, his nose skimming over my pulse point, breathing in my scent.

"Bella, how is it that your heart still beats if you're ..." he couldn't finish it. His voice choked at the end as if he simply just could not force it out, even if he tried. Now i turned my head to look him in his beautiful molten gold eyes.

"It's only temporary. While I'm on earth and human, my heart has to beat and pump blood around my body to make the charade believable. If I went to the hospital, insatiable klutz that I am, and they had to check my heart, how do you think they would react to someone that was walking around pretty much healthy, that had no heartbeat? And when they went to test that theory and found that not only do I have no heartbeat but I had no blood running through me either? I'm still able to be hurt, to feel pain but the only way I can die on earth again is if my time is up or a vampire bites me." His face twisted in agony and disgust, but was gone so quickly that I was doubting that it'd actually been there at all.

"How would you die, when your time runs out" he asked, his voice a bit strained.

"It depends on where I am. If I'm swimming, I drown; If I'm high up, I fall; If I'm eating, I choke; If I'm driving, I crash; If I'm sleeping, I stop breathing; If I'm in the middle of a forest, I get disorientated and dehydrated; If I'm in a reserve, animals will pull me apart; If I'm sick, I die of it. Even if it's just a fever or cough … and if there's a vampire within 2 mile's I'm drained of blood." Edward's face went blank. Only his eyes showed his horror. He whispered gently,

"Isn't there any _nice_ way for you to die?" I shrugged and replied,

"I wouldn't feel a thing. A bit before my time is up I become slightly numb, my heartbeat slows and I fade just slightly. You'd be able to see through me almost completely just a few days before I'd die. And I'd be able to walk through things. Guess that's where the idea of ghosts come from."

My love let out a short laugh. It was wry and short-lived. Then he was silent, just holding me gently His idle breath wandering coolly over the skin of my neck.

"But if they decide to bring me back early that won't happen. I'll just skip it, mostly. I'll die at the stage I'm at. Either way, Edward, I'm doomed to death because I'm already dead"

**A/N: So sorry it took so long but I kept trying to fit something else in. Next chapter will either be a short one from EPOV or one that takes place the next summer holidays. Also takes place at the airport because they are going to Cornwall for the summer. Bella's treat … and shocking surprise.**


	7. Memories

EPOV

Bella was taking us to Cornwall for the first part of the summer. We had no idea how she planned it and made it possible. She'd just walked in on us one day discussing where to take her for the holiday and eventually told us not to plan for the first few weeks because she was going to take us to Cornwall for the first few weeks of summer. It was … interesting, to say the least. She wouldn't even tell us where we were going other than Cornwall. I couldn't even see _why _she'd want to got to Cornwall. It's wet and rainy and she didn't lie about the fact that she hated wet and cold. I slipped into Bella's room. I knew I didn't need to sneak in anymore but I still felt … strange being around Charlie, let alone acknowledge that he knew what we were and that he knew I was sneaking into Bella's room at night. Bella was waiting for me in her daggy grey sweats, her legs crossed underneath her. She saw me enter and her face lit up as she smiled. There was nothing like Bella smiling. Her eyes sparkled and her face glowed with life … even though I know that she's already died. But that didn't stop me from seeing her as alive.

I slipped on to her bed with her. I pulled her gently onto my lap. Her head lolled back and hid her face in the crook of my neck. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. We just sat there for a while and I thought back over the past few months with Bella.

"… _Ring around the rosy_

_A pocket full of posies_

_Ashes, ashes_

_We all fall down_

_Ring around the rosy_

_A pocket full of posies_

_Ashes, ashes_

_We all fall down …" I was confused when I heard Bella singing the nursery rhyme over and over in the lounge room. I was in the study with Carlisle and we'd been quietly discussing Aidian and how we should approach him if he knew our secret. _

_Carlisle had stopped talking for a second as well. He sighed, and waved his hands absently at me to leave and go to her. I frowned,_

"_Why is she singing that?" I asked. Carlisle shook his head and replied,_

"_Not many people know that the nursery rhyme originated from the Black Death but it did. Children made it and it focuses on the fact that they are surrounded by the dead and dying. Children sung it constantly back then because it was catchy and eventually became a habit. I'll bet Bella doesn't even realise she's singing it. She's singing the original version of it as well. Not the modern one where you sing 'ah-tissue, ah-tissue'. 'Ashes, ashes' was created because of burning of the dead. There was enough time to bury the dead and no-one wanted to either, afraid to catch the disease. Go to her. Stop her thinking of it. It's the worst time in history; it's horrible that she died then." With that he ushered me out of his study and I made my way down the stairs to her._

I blinked. Why did I think of that? It wasn't exactly a happy memory and ingrained the fact that she'd been telling the truth more deeply. After that day, Bella singing that rhyme haunted my head; it was an awful song to me now. I defiantly sought out a happier memory.

_Bella was laughing so hard, hysterically even. Emmett's laughter was booming in the background as well, with Alice's tinkling, bell-like laughter making a perfect symphony of joy and happiness. And we all were, with Bella here we were a family again. Not some broken coven that was considering drifting apart. Carlisle and Esme looked as though if steam could blow from their ears and their faces could turn red, it would've happened a long time ago. As in, when they first heard the crash of the glass of the window and Esme's favourite vase as they shattered. Even worse, Carlisle's wooden cross that had hung above the vase was now on the floor, broken in half from the shock of hitting the floor. I was sitting looking a bit smug and Rosalie's lips were twitching in humour. Jasper was struggling between the two strong emotions of rage and joy. It was showing through the torn expression on his face as he tried to calm, first himself and then everyone else._

I smiled that was a nice memory, even if after we had to, for punishment, glue the vase and cross back together so that it looked like they had never been broken in the first place. Bella hadn't done that, no-one wanted a repeat of her birthday, even if her blood was becoming less potent by the day. It was still more tempting than most humans though. I might be biased because she's my singer though. I remembered when she told us about going to Cornwall.

_Bella walked in on us talking about where to go in the holidays. She smiled secretively and plonked herself down on my lap. We gaped, we would've expected her to tell us to just stay here and not spend any more money on her ... like she always did. The only thing I could think of if she wasn't complaining was that she had an ulterior move. She'd stumped us when she'd beat Jasper in a game of chess. She'd simply told us that living during the 15__th__ century, ladies and men alike had to learn how to play chess as a way to socialize. Carlisle had confirmed that fact. We looked at her confused and she simply smirked and waved her hand for us to continue. We did so cautiously. But every time we tried to say something about the first 3 weeks of the holidays she would say, "Nope" or "Not happening". Finally we caved and asked her why she wouldn't do anything in the first few weeks. She smirked and replied,_

"_Because we're already going somewhere. Cornwall, and yes, there is a reason" our whole family gaped at her. She smirked again,_

"_You'll also find out why I hate rain so much." She added. Alice chose that moment to whine about how she couldn't see anymore, that she hadn't known. Which had brought up, where we where actually going _in_ Cornwall. At which Bella simply replied, not smiling, _

"_You'll see."_

Even now, Alice and us had no idea where exactly we where going but we went along with it, Bella had clearly expressed that the trip was important; both to her and in general. We where leaving for the airport tomorrow and only Bella had the tickets. When asked how she afforded them she simply said that she'd talked to some friends and they'd sent her the tickets. When asked if they were the reason we were going to Cornwall, she told us that they weren't.

Finally I broke the silence,

"Bella, love, where's you're suitcase?" I could only see a small rucksack on her desk with her laptop in it, a few books and a jacket. Enough for the 4 hour flight from Burlington International to Heathrow International in London, and the six hour train trip to … where we where going. She shrugged and said,

"That's all I need."

Bella was still exactly as she'd been before but a just a bit withdrawn and hesitant. As if she thought I might suddenly come to a sudden realisation that since she wasn't entirely, fully alive I couldn't love her. An insanity and made me think inevitably as if the tables had turned somehow. Bella was now in the position I'd been in 16 years ago when we were first coming to the realisation that we loved each other. Back then I thought that at any moment she realise the danger she was in and that I wasn't worth it and run. She used to get so annoyed by that. Saying over and over that she wouldn't run, that she knew I wasn't a monster, and that I wouldn't hurt her. I felt a bit like that now. I knew how much I loved her and knew that after spending 16 long and torturous years apart from her that I could never do that again. And I didn't care at all about what she was. Shocked and angry that she was being torn from me again too soon, yes. But never - never in a million years - would I not love her because of what she was.

She looked at me and seemed to understand what I was thinking; she smiled lightly before saying,

"I know I should trust you more, but trust _me_ first. Please, I swear if you still love me in a few weeks time, I will have no doubts. None at all, I swear on my heart." I smiled and gently pressed my lips to her for a second before I pulled away and Bella's face fell into a pout. I laughed and sighed,

"Bella, I wouldn't stop loving you for the world. Now get some sleep you need to get up at 2 o'clock tomorrow morning." Bella groaned and mumbled something about why her friends had to get her such early flight tickets. About an hour later she finally fell asleep and started talking about Cornwall and sloping hills making great views and stupid, early tickets. Oh yeah, and saying my name … a _lot_.

_**(A/N: and cue smug smirk from the idiot Edward!!)**_

vvvvXXXXvvvv

BPOV

Despite everything, I could not bring myself to let down my barriers. I had to _show_ him a part of my history before I knew that he accepted for what I was entirely. At the moment it was just something that stood unspoken, at the back of their minds. They were ignoring what I was, pretending I was still human, still alive. They _had_ to understand that I was _not_.

So I was taking them to Cornwall. To Launceston, well, almost. They had to see what I'd been, I didn't want it to be forgotten. I didn't want her to be forgotten. I hadn't told them, it was funny to see them trying to work it out.

"Bella! Bella, get down here! Edward needs to go home and change anyway! Bella Swain, do _not_ make me come up there!" I groaned into Edward's chest and I felt it rumble in reply as he chuckled. I felt him plant a light kiss on my forehead before he pushed me away.

"As much as I hate to admit it love we have to be at the airport in 3 hours and I do need to get changed. Alice'll take care of you. Love you." Then he pulled himself off my bed and disappeared out the window gracefully.

Rather ungracefully, I yanked myself out of bed and tumbled unceremoniously out of bed onto the brown carpeted floor. I growled as Alice yelled up the stairs again. I pulled myself to my feet and stumbled downstairs to get something to eat. Alice appeared at my side, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

"Isn't it so cool that we're going to England? Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking us!" She squealed while I watched with amusement. Suddenly she stopped, "Why are you taking us to England? And how did you get the money to take us there?" I simply smiled and brushed past her,

"I didn't spend a dime, promise." I grabbed the piece of toast that Alice had made and took a bite. Alice groaned and stomped her foot, angrily,

"And the other question?" I laughed,

"Alice, you know me better than to think you could get it out of me now." Alice groaned and disappeared upstairs. She was back down in a second, holding my bag. I grabbed it and swung it down on the table in front of me mumbling my thanks. Alice frowned,

"Isabella Marie, is that _all_ you're bringing?"

"It's all I need."

"It's all you need for the next eight _weeks_?" She asked, incredulously. Damn it, she was getting close. I hated Alice's inquisitive nature.

"It's all I need _from here_ for the next eight weeks." I stated in a tone that ended the conversation. There was a knock at the door,

"That'll be Edward." She mumbled before prancing off to get the door. Moments later Edward appeared in black cargos down to his ankles, a white polo and a navy blue, hooded jacket pulled on. His hair was still wet from his quick shower.

He immediately took the seat opposite me and smiled,

"All packed?" he joked already knowing how light my luggage was. I smiled and played along,

"Not quite, I still have the kitchen sink to pack" Edward and Alice laughed loudly and Charlie called down the stairs,

"Keep in mind that I am not going on this trip of yours." I looked at Edward with a cat-that-ate-the-canary face and he crack up again. I smiled and finished my toast before running upstairs and brushing my teeth quickly. I was back down within a minute.

"Ok, I'm ready." I said as I slung my bag over my shoulder. Alice looked at my luggage with disgust, then suddenly brightened up.

"Is the reason you haven't packed any clothes that you're going let me take you shopping? It is isn't it? YAY!" Alice squealed loudly and I winced.

"No, Alice. If we were to go shopping _I'd_ be telling _you_ where to go and _I'd _be in the bookstore." Edward laughed and Alice pouted.

"Shouldn't you kids be going?" Charlie yelled down the stairs and I gave Edward a look of mock terror and rushed out of the house, Alice and Edward behind me.

vvvvXXXXvvvv

EPOV

We arrived at the airport with only a few minutes to spare. We rushed into the waiting area as Carlisle took the tickets from Bella and booked us in, changing our seats from economy to first class. When he came back with the tickets and Bella took hers her face turned dark.

"Carlisle…"

"Yes, Bella? What's your problem with first class tickets?"

Bella groaned,

"Nothing, Carlisle. I'd just like it if you'd do something my way for once" And she turned on her heel, walking towards the waiting area.

**(A/N: Can't be bothered to put them through Customs and all that stuff)**

I gave Carlisle a short angered look, we were having a hard enough time trying to get Bella to trust us completely.

"Couldn't you have sat in Economy for _one_ trip to England, Carlisle? Seriously."


	8. Journey

**A/N: Okay this chapter is dedicated to BloodWhiteWolf for answering my plea for help and giving me all the information I needed. If it weren't for her, this chapter would've been a hell of a lot harder to write. I'm sorry it took so long to get up anyways. Hope you enjoy!**

EPOV

When we got off the plane in Heathrow Airport, Bella was very tired, having fallen asleep in her seat. She was dragging her feet along the ground with her backpack, slung across her shoulder and her head was down, gaze focused on her feet. I sighed and picked her picked her, slinging her across my back. Bella breathed out a,

"Thanks" as she secured herself on my back and pressed her face into my neck, quickly falling asleep again. When we reached the Heathrow Express train, it was just about to leave. We quickly slipped on and paid the fare. I searched for two empty seats and sat Bella down in one before sitting next to her. 15 minutes later we arrived at Paddington Station. I shook Bella awake, she looked up at me groggily.

"Bella, where do we go now?" I asked quietly, waiting for everyone to hop off before us so we wouldn't be jostled and pushed about. She pulled her backpack off and dug around inside before pulling out 8 train tickets. She squinted at them before shaking her head and stuffing them back in and rooting around again. She pulled out 8 different train tickets and shoved them towards me. I glanced at them ... then blinked. I looked up just as Bella was slinging her bag back on her back.

"Bella ..." I said slowly, "These tickets say the train leaves in 5 minutes." Bella's head snapped up. My words had woken her up all right. She glanced at her watch then,

"Shit. Let's go." She grabbed my hand pulled me up pushed past the last few people getting off the train. Me and my family quickly followed. We got to the train with a minute to spare. Bella gave our tickets to the man at the door and he pointed us down the hall. We lugged our bags down the hall till we came to two empty compartments across from each other. Bella opened one door and told us,

"There's only room for four in each so Carlisle and Esme," she pointed to the opposite compartment, showing very clearly that she was still angry at Carlisle even though we knew it wouldn't last that much longer, "and Rosalie and Emmet" she said still pointing to the same compartment. I shrugged at Emmet who was pouting despite the fact that he was only being put there because of Rosalie.

Bella went into her compartment sat down at the window. I caught Alice's eye before walking in after her and sitting down next to her. I slung my arm around her and she leaned back into me. I could feel her amazing heat falling over me, wave by wave. Overwhelming me, just like her scent. I bent my head and kissed the top of her head gently.

"So, we're going to Saunderton?" I asked casually. Bella threw her head back and laughed. I watched her, smiling till she quietened down and replied,

"No. We still have another train after this to catch and then a bit of a drive. You probably won't even get it when we arrive." I frowned. How would we not get where we were when we got there. I sighed as I decided to just let it go.

***

50 minutes later the train pulled in at Saunderton and we all piled out and waited for the next train to arrive. It was still fairly early in the morning, about 6:50, so there wasn't that many people around yet. We all sat down at the small cafe and waited while Bella purchased some breakfast; a chocolate chip muffin and a hot chocolate. She sat down and handed me the tickets for the next train. I groaned, it got here in half an hour, at 7:25. I told everyone else and pulled Bella onto my lap. She shifted and laid her head on my shoulder again.

_Edward. Do you have any idea at all where we're going? I feel like we're being lead on a wild goose chase. No offense to Bella of course.___Carlisle asked me through my mind.

"No. I have no idea and Carlisle, there's obviously no direct line to wherever she's taking us. So let's just trust her okay?" I murmured at vampire speed so Bella wouldn't hear me. 5 minutes later Bella's breakfast arrived and she slipped back off my lap so she could eat. Another 25 minutes past before we saw our train pull up and we quickly got up and boarded. Once again we had two separate compartments and we went into them in the same groups as before. Bella got out a book this time and settled down to read it. I got a glimpse of the cover and burst out laughing. Jasper and Alice turned to me and Bella turned red. Guessing what I was laughed at.

"Seriously, you stole Aidian's copy of _Wuthering Heights_ again?" this renewed my bout of laughing and Bella slapped my arm with the book. It didn't hurt of course but I did lean away from her and continue to laugh.

"Don't laugh. Mine's falling apart, that's not my fault!" Bella exclaimed still blushing red. When I calmed down I sat back over close to Bella and pulled her into me again.

"I'm sorry. I love you." I reminded her. She smiled and continued reading. The rest of the 5 hours passed in silence. Apart from the occasion whispered words between Alice and Jasper and my far and in between comments on the plotline of her book. Like when the characters did something that made no sense to me. Okay so maybe my comments were slightly more frequent.

**A/N: Yes I know. I'm a tease but I swear, the next chapter is longer and reveals all.**


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